Richard Simmons

from by BTNKS

/

lyrics

ft. Sergeant Spin, Peter the Whaler, and Sir Spectacle

Richard Simmons in shiny spandex
Cleaning windows with my new Windex
Changing the time on my gold Rolex
Finding mewtew with my Pokedex
Next day shipping got here with Fed-Ex
Sex-ed flipped around would be ed-sex
Climbed a mountain got to the apex
Finished off the day with some tex-mex

Racin fast like Sebulba
I’m into girls named Lola
But scared of girls named Olga
Olga or Helga
I don’t really care just playin some Zelda
Just go back to playing Jenga
Janga Langa come in back like a bangaranga
Orangutang
Downing some tang
Fallin down a drain
Like dang
I make it rain
In Hawaii
I don’t lie
Like Chicken pie
I mean Chicken soup for the soul
In a bowling for soup
In a coop
This beat is just loops
Y’all are being dooped
Like the spy kids got flooped
Having Premonition
Yall wont listen
Just watch me pistin
In a cup, like a piston cup
Sorry mater
But ill see you later
Alligator
I love haters
Cause they get madder
Madder hatter
Full like a bladder
This just chatter
I rap Dark
Nighttime aardvark
Shark out a bear
Flippin flapjacks
New backpack
New back replacement
New beat arrangement
Arraning spaces
Trading places
Tying up laces
Running races
Around town
Get downtown

Richard Simmons in shiny spandex
Cleaning windows with my new Windex
Changing the time on my gold Rolex
Finding mewtew with my Pokedex
Next day shipping got here with Fed-Ex
Sex-ed flipped around would be ed-sex
Climbed a mountain got to the apex
Finished off the day with some tex-mex

I’m at my top, yeah I’m the pinnacle
The zenith if you will, my words are never typical
Fear ‘em if you will, but where I am there’s a way
A safari out to see the big five, o.k.
K.O. when I see you, battle with the big cheese
I’m polite and say gesundheit whenever you sneeze
Chester cheetoh plays chess with the cheshire cat
Shisha smoking caterpillars smile cheerfully back
Mad hatter at a tea party, his accent is atrocious
You want some “cwowfee” son, he hoped I wouldn’t notice
But it’s hopeless, my vernacular is loaded
Croaking like a locus, I bend words like the lotus
Half moon, or lord of the dance,
If you got a question son, please lower your hands
Some call me Auntie Anne, I’ll leave you bent out of shape
Or Al Pacino, cuz I'll blow you away like scarface

Richard Simmons in shiny spandex
Cleaning windows with my new Windex
Changing the time on my gold Rolex
Finding mewtew with my Pokedex
Next day shipping got here with Fed-Ex
Sex-ed flipped around would be ed-sex
Climbed a mountain got to the apex
Finished off the day with some tex-mex

Whip it like a miracle, spirit of the spiracle
Sound it out - lyrical, round it out - spherical
We're a cool pool of experts, my neck squirts
Ketchup all over your best shirt, my chest hurts
Burt wert about Ernie? He's derd on a gurney
Ermagherd, Er'm so surry
Surely there must be --
Don't call me Shirley.. Temple.. Of Doom.. the Doctor was early
Fairy fightin feather titans sippin on a leather lichen
Bikin over over-ripened island ogres overnight
In spite of all the wicked weather, Pidgeotto pluckin feathers
Lookin like a lump of leather, chewin on a chunk of cheddar
Wetter than Atlantis on a two-to-one advantage
Micromanaging the plannage while speaking only in Spanish
Under canopies of granite trees and multicolored manatees
A panoramic semistatic much-awaited masterpiece

Richard Simmons in shiny spandex
Cleaning windows with my new Windex
Changing the time on my gold Rolex
Finding mewtew with my Pokedex
Next day shipping got here with Fed-Ex
Sex-ed flipped around would be ed-sex
Climbed a mountain got to the apex
Finished off the day with some tex-mex

credits

from The Place to Be, released December 9, 2012

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BTNKS Siloam Springs, Arkansas

Pronounced beatniks, BTNKS is a collection of artists who love to write hip-hop music, drawing inspiration from everything we see or do. Drawing inspiration from Allen Ginsberg to Chuck-e-cheese, we're here to make good music, while also having a good time. Come to a show, dance with us, and try not to get hooked! ... more

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